Admittedly Obsessed

Breaking Dawn Dominates Box Office

2011-11-19T21:15:00.000-05:00

As pleased as I was to see Immortals doing well at the box office last weekend (good for you, Kellan Lutz!) I am even more pleased to see Breaking Dawn excelling this weekend.

Breaking Dawn was one of the most hyped and discussed Twilight movies, and for a change the drama wasn't all about the actor's off-screen lives. Instead, let's face it, the content of this book was a major challenge to bring to the screen. Breaking Dawn has an inherent vampire super-creepiness in it that the other books lacked (not that they weren't weird in their own ways) and conveying that on screen in a way that didn't make us all run screaming was pretty impressive.

Equally impressive? Breaking Dawn making nearly $140 million world-wide so far. Immortals is out as the top US Box Office take, and Breaking Dawn is firmly on top of the heap.

These ARE their excited faces

Now, who wants to predict which of the Twilight Saga movies will ultimately make the most money? I'm voting one of the first three over this split-up nonsense ... a year for the next installment are you NUTS? ... but curious to hear your thoughts.

Breaking Dawn Fever Spreads To South America

2011-10-24T12:46:00.001-04:00

The upcoming release of the first installment of Breaking Dawn has spread to my corner of South America. It's not just the posters and the promotional merchandise. The kids in my high school ESL classes are actively planning to get their latest Edward & Bella fix.

Whether they will get to do it in a theater is a different kind of story. Ecuador is not known for its strict copyright laws and knock-off DVD stores are a major part of the film industry here, such as it is. Cuenca, a city of approximately 500,000 people, boasts more than 150 illegal DVD shops. They operate as regular stores, closing up only when the government decides to get serious about their image. A few days later they reopen and life moves on.

As a result, most of the Ecuadorian Twilight fans will be taking in the movie on the small screen. At least the first time. Based on their ability to quote lines from the movies, Twilight films get watched over and over and over. The first purchase may be a ripped off DVD of a US film premier of Breaking Dawn, but a later viewing will likely happen in theaters, boosting Twilight's global box office numbers. In the end, a fan is a fan, and we all buy too much Twilight stuff to be respectable.

The life-size Edward's in my local film store, for example, had to be bought from somewhere. Twilight banners, promoting New Moon, Eclipse and the original are everywhere. The original Twilight is not aging so well, I'll confess. The sleeker, upgraded vampires are a better bet. And here in Ecuador, the countdown to getting to see them take the screen for Breaking Dawn is officially down to the final days!

Is Taylor Lautner's Abduction a Victim of Bad Acting or Bad Editing?

2011-09-23T23:57:00.001-04:00

Taylor Lautner's Abduction opened up today officially, and the general reaction has not been good. Critics are giving it a firm thumbs-down in both the US and international press. The general public isn't loving it either - for a while the film even had a 0% rating at RottenTomatoes.com!

Quick, let's get out before it starts!

So what makes Abduction such a bad movie? Twilight haters are quick to give it a thumbs down, but most professional critics are focusing on two key areas: Taylor Lautner's acting skills and the production work of the film.

From the New York Times review of Abduction: “To give Mr. Lautner his due, he is a martial-arts dervish with perfectly sculptured abs. His acting, however, is another matter. I can’t recall another teenage star so opaque. If his physiognomy — recessed eyes that don’t seem to focus, a wide snub nose and Elvis-y lips — conjure Neanderthal manhood after a cosmetic makeover, his boyish monotone with its utter lack of inflection suggests that he is really an advanced robot simulating human speech without registering emotion or even comprehension.” Ouch!

“Abduction features woefully appalling writing brought to life by genuinely random direction. The only consistency is that none of it works, and the result is a mess that will leave even the most ardent Twi-hater yearning for Stephenie Meyer’s skills. …one of the year’s worst films," says Australia's Sydney Morning Herald. Just in case it's not clear they're haters - the whole review calls the film "worse than Twilight."

Critic Claudia Puig for the USA Today review of Abduction wrote: “Lautner . . . has the physicality to star in an action thriller. But his acting range is limited. His face rarely changes expression.” (Okay, I might give her this one. Then again, name a facially expressive Twilight actor? Anyone?)

And again from Australia: "Don’t be fooled by the presence of esteemed actors like Bello, Isaacs, Sigourney Weaver (playing Nathan’s shrink) and Alfred Molina (a dodgy CIA boss). They’re only there to collect a pay check for reading out the absurd script — which could have been written by a 14-year-old, given its level of depth and sophistication," says Movieflix.

So which is the true culprit here?

Tell me what's really going on here!

Though I will agree that it takes more than pretty abs to carry a movie, I'm going to lay more blame on the film production and cinematography crew than Taylor Lautner. No, Taylor Lautner is not the world's best actor - but that doesn't mean he's a bad actor. And we've all seen great movies carried by actors who were terrible in other films. Look at Gwyneth Paltrow in Shakespeare in Love ... and then anything else. Think how awesome Jude Law is in Sherlock Holmes. It's not just about the actor ... it's also about the direction, camera work, script, and editing.

Abduction just doesn't cut it in those areas. Casting choices were fine - there's heavy weights in there who can do much, much better. However, the writing for the movie's script is crap, in the sense that it's not a tight, driving story. Some of the lines make you cringe. Chemistry is not developed evenly between characters, and there's a choppiness to it all that goes beyond using artistry to create a feeling of chaos in the film. This just wasn't very well done.

Despite all that, Abduction may still be a profitable film. Given the strength of Lautner's Twilight fame, he'll likely have other chances. Perhaps his next movie won't be thrown together so badly, and we'll all have a chance to see him in a film directed and edited by a team who can help him show off his best side.

New Fan Fic: Just Show Me The Money, Money

2011-08-20T04:16:00.000-04:00

It's official - my new new fan fiction story for Twilight is live on FanFiction.

Although she’s a little confused about the how of it all, there’s no confusing the what – Bella’s been vamped. Her new “family” is a set of first-class drug dealers in the middle of a turf war with “The Pack”. Coming to terms with her new life status, adjusting to her new family life, and managing to find a happy ending … you’d have to be high to think it’s going to be easy!

Check it out now: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7305226/1/

Kristen Stewart Reminds Me Of January Jones In W Magazine

2011-08-12T20:07:00.000-04:00

Checking out Kristen Stewart's photo shoot for W Magazine, I couldn't help but be reminded of January Jones. Blame it on seeing X Men First Class earlier this summer, but at first I didn't even think this was Kristen Steward at all. I'm believing her in the Snow White gear better than in these shots, which just seem to make her look like someone else entirely.

The cover, looking wide-eyed and glam

With a red ring that I kind of want

With a very January Jones style mink

Not all of the Kristen Stewart go this far to alter her look, but this one really does it up. I like the photos, but I just keep seeing January Jones

Anyone else seeing the resemblance?

Fun New Twilight Poster - Now With Unicorns!

2011-08-07T21:16:00.001-04:00

This is going to be a short and simple post. I saw this, I loved this, you need to see this gorgeous mash-up of My Little Pony and Twilight:

Many thanks for your genius, AMSLizrah

Shirtless Sunday: BooBoo Stewart

2011-05-01T10:32:00.000-04:00

Way back in the day, I asked if all the members of the Wolf Pack really had what it took to be pack members. Not a long history of acting ... but a killer physique.

Even as a young pup, BooBoo Stewart brought the abs out as needed. But that was then, this is now. Welcome to the 2011 edition of BooBoo Stewart's abs!

I must say I'm impressed at the way all the Wolf Pack boys keep themselves up between the different shoots. Also looking forward to seeing more of BooBoo Stewart as Seth Clearwater in Breaking Dawn.

New Fan Fiction Adventure

2011-04-03T20:01:00.000-04:00

Way back when, I started writing my first bit of Twilight fan fiction. I haven't given up on that story (lax posting to the contrary) but I got hit with a new inspiration this weekend.

The new story is tentatively titled "Just Show Me The Money, Money" triggered by Tim Myers song, Money$$$. So far we have a Bella who is piecing together what happens after you get eaten by vampires, and the crew of usual suspects. Jacob's there, too, but his leg's broken at the moment and I really can't say what will happen to him next. One thing I did learn from my Distilling Down adventures is to make sure I get a good ways into things before I launch the story so readers don't have to wait forever while I beta through and sort out plot problems.

Anyway ... coming soon ... Just Show Me The Money, Money!

Screw Captain America!

2011-03-28T14:04:00.000-04:00

The latest rumors have Ashley Greene dating Chris Evans. And by dating, I mean she talked to him at a club and maybe flirted a little. It's called a fresh break up and alcohol, not "dating" Chris Evans. Sure, Chris Evans may be getting press at the moment for being Captain America, but seriously, after a Jonas brother who wouldn't you talk to in order forget the all-too-recent past?

Not that Ashley Greene is looking terribly heartbroken.

She's got her hair long, a smile on, a necklace I totally want, and nary a Joe Jonas look-alike in sight. Which is just way I like it, because while she was going out with Joe Jonas I almost had to break my don't be mean to Ashley Greene rule. He's just too ... too ... uck, can't even describe it. Just no.

I feel like Chris Evans is a little bit the same way. I mean, he's a nice-ish guy, I guess, and by Hollywood standards he's pretty above board. It's just that he's so boring. Still, after all the Breaking Dawn filming madness and the Jonas brothers freaks that Ashley Greene has been dealing with lately, maybe she wants some boring?

Twilight Halloween Song: Monster Mash

2010-10-30T20:33:00.000-04:00

Monster Mash has always been one of my favorite Halloween songs, and I had to laugh when I discovered there was a Twilight-themed remix of Monster Mash on YouTube. The owners have disabled the embedding, but the Twilight Monster Mash video is full of hidden gems worth watching over and over.

Enjoy, and have a Happy Halloween, Twilight-themed or not!

Easing Back Into The Twilight Zone

2010-10-12T19:30:00.000-04:00

I had one of those moments today, where I realized that what I was really missing was Twilight. So I got online to get caught up and realized that somewhere along the way since Eclipse hit theaters, I've lost months.

I had no idea Nikki Reed was in Nylon. I think Xavier Samuel's girlfriend is kind of fugly (something with the smile?) and need to do some serious research to remember who all the members of the Denali clan are, much less who is playing them. It's been a while since I read Breaking Dawn, and I just forget all those bit players, you know?

But I'm mad that I don't know them. How messed up is that? It's like a piece of me wants to drop everything and run to the nearest bookstore/library just to get the glossary section of the book to figure out who the heck Cameron is. Somebody's human companion/mate, perhaps?

Yet I'm hesitant. I remember when I took the first plunge into the Twilight fandom. I lost weeks reading all the back posts and catching up with what had happened since the filming of the original movie. I came in between Twilight and did the countdown to New Moon. I was learning as I went, and I didn't know how much I didn't know.

Now I do. I know how much I've been skipping, and I know how many posts and blogs I should be reading. I've got the alerts in a folder that should be labeled as the "Guilt" file instead of the Twilight file, because when I look at it I feel guilty that I'm letting the fandom down.

But filming for Breaking Dawn starts soon, and I want to be back. Let's see how long it takes me . . .

Shirtless Sunday: Kellan Lutz

2010-08-22T18:57:00.000-04:00

How did I miss that this was happening? Apparently PopSugar is hosting a kind of shirtless wonder contest, and it's all come down to Kellan Lutz. vs. Zac Efron.

Both men have dominated their competition brackets all the way to the top, and I can't wait to see the results. In the mean time, here are a few more shirtless photos of Kellan Lutz from my Photobucket collection.

And from the Calvin Klein shoot - Damn!

This contest really was the perfect excuse for looking through these shirtless Kellan Lutz pictures. What a great way to end to weekend ~ Yum!

Robert Pattinson And Kristen Stewart In World's Grainiest Kiss

2010-08-17T00:21:00.000-04:00

So the blogosphere is a-twitter that Bella and Edward . . . I mean, Rob and Kristen . . . have finally been caught kissing in public. While not accepting an award. Sadly, rather than being a full on "Yes we suck face deal with it Twilight fans" kind of screw you to the Robsten haters, these are the world's grainiest make-out photos. Not that I'm necessarily more voyeuristic than the next girl . . it's just if you've got 'em, flaunt 'em is my general motto on celebrity romance with hot men.

Thanks to Celebuzz for the photo (obviously)

Maybe now they'll be able to be a little more public? Who knows!

If I Was A Werewolf, I'd Shred My Boyfriend

2010-08-06T12:01:00.000-04:00

I'll admit, I credit some of my current relationship's existence to the power of Twilight. How, you ask, especially since Twilight loving makes so many guys run for the hills? Well, because I was being pretty into the fandom and being a fan fic writer and just enjoying myself, I was radiating that kind of happy glow that seems to be a magnet for meeting people.

So, add in one boyfriend to my life mix. Good times, right?

Well, mostly. Right now it is safe to say that if I was a werewolf, I would have power-shredded his ass. Probably about three times now.

Rawr!

It's a hundred little things, culminating with not being able to get a decent night's sleep for the last week. This made last night's "Let's go out with my clients so I can get weeknight shitfaced" adventure a very crabby experience for sober me, who has to do real work today. Only my insistence that I needed sleep last night versus turning things into an all-night adventure capped with sexcapades makes me the evil, vindictive bitch here. Not the one in the other room playing metal and hard rock with room shaking volume and pouting.

And I'm trying to work. Really. I have not given up on the day and cried and wished I had my own personal vampire to whisk me away to the Isle Esme, or at least Alaska. I haven't done that. I haven't wondered if maybe it wasn't just easier to live alone with a massive secret Twilight obsession than have a warm, real boyfriend who is wonderful most of the time. No, don't be silly. I'm not longing for the days where I could get actual projects done and read as much fan fiction as I wanted. No, no, no - why would I do that?

*Cue loud guitars screeching*

Okay, fine. I'm throwing a massive personal pity party starting NOW. There's chocolate ice cream in the freezer and I'm having it for lunch. It should be a helluva day and you're all invited to join. The first person to show up with a margarita in a bag or a vampire wearing only a bow is my hero.

Twimpage Promotes Distilling Down!

2010-07-27T20:50:00.000-04:00

How excited am I to have been pimped by Twimpage? Very excited! And also surprised because I didn't know it was happening and wasn't on my Twitter over the weekend.

Fortunately, the absolute lovelies over at Twimpage don't care that I'm not always on the ball and pimped my fiction on July 23rd. You can see the pimpage for Distilling Down here.

Also, if you are looking for new Twilight fan fic to read, check out the rest of the Twimpage treasures at their site.

Wait, Jackson Rathbone, Is That You?

2010-07-07T02:01:00.000-04:00

Just saw some promo photos of Jackson Rathbone in Tokyo promoting The Last Airbender and almost didn't recognize him!

What is this?

I am not a fan! I think I much prefer it when Rathbone looks like something other than an over-gelled yuppie. This outtake from Jackson Rathbone's Nylon photo shoot is more my style.

A Taylor-iffic Surprise in My Taxi Cab

2010-07-07T01:14:00.000-04:00

I was flying today and had to make a transfer between FLL and my MIA hotel in rush hour. Do not actually recommend this to anyone.

However, there was a little surprise tucked away for me in the seat pocket of my cab. I almost squeed with glee when I discovered the July 2010 GQ featuring Taylor Lautner was there:

Oh, Hell Yes!

The interview was actually a very nice piece about Taylor, and I enjoyed reading about the reporter being frightened of the teenagers and crazed moms stalking Taylor Lautner everywhere he goes at award shows and public appearances. It added a nice perspective to the whole thing, and it presented Lautner in a good light - awed and grateful for his fans, if a little overwhelmed by it all.

But you know what really got me through the traffic? The photos! This one was my favorite . . . quite a step up in the sexy department from the original pre-werewolf Taycub, don't you think?

The Abs . . . Sheesh!

Twilight Supermarket Tabloid Shocker!

2010-07-04T03:24:00.000-04:00

I was in the grocery store today and just about died when I got to the checkout line. Not because a new Robert Pattinson photo spread was staring back at me, or because they had another Wolf Pack featurette for sale.

No, I was in shock because The Twilight Saga: Eclipse opened this week to record breaking ticket sales, and there wasn't a damn tabloid headline dedicated to a member of the cast anywhere to be seen.

WTForks, people?

Sandra Bullock is getting a divorce. Still.

The Bachelorette is dumped. Yawn.

Jennifer Aniston is having a baby. I DO NOT EVEN CARE.

I've gotten used to not being able to turn around without seeing a piece of Twilight related merchandise somewhere in the immediate vicinity when I'm out shopping. Admittedly, at times I thought it was getting a little out of hand but I never thought that on release week - RELEASE WEEK, YOU MORONS - the tabloids and glossies wouldn't be in a Twilight swoon, rolling in money as old fans and new fans alike snapped up special issues.

Also . . . it's the 4th of July and I was in line for a really long time. Some Twilight made-up gossip drama would have trumped the hell out of reading about that Bachelorette crap while I waited for the lady with 2,000 items in her cart of check out. Just saying.

It's like all the marketing people died or went on vacation. Or are clinically dumb.

FOR THE LOVE OF A SHIRTLESS WEREWOLF, DON'T YOU PEOPLE LIKE MONEY?

Even In Nebraska, Eclipse Sells Out

2010-07-01T01:35:00.000-04:00

It's official. While New Moon held the previous opening night box office take, Eclipse has taken the cake with a whalloping $30 million in ticket sales.

$10 per "smiling" face . . . not bad

Even in my native Nebraska, I'm pleased to report that the midnight show was completely sold out. Not because I had tickets, no, no, no. Thursday night late show for me . . . currently rewatching the first two movies and cringing at the Star Wars level smoothness of the dialogue. However, the Twi-hards I discovered at the insurance office today (who knew? And they were right under my nose all along!!) informed me that I'm making the right choice by waiting. Evidently the late late show of Eclipse was filled with tween crazies. Hopefully by Thursday it will be cleared out and I'll be able to enjoy Eclipse to the max!

One Camera-less Trip To Forks Land Facepalm

2010-06-29T01:49:00.000-04:00

I was so excited for my trip along the Northwest corridor. Finally, I thought, I'd be getting in some serious time in the land that inspired it all. While there was no way in hell I could swing a family jaunt over to the actual Forks, I figured that the cruise excursions would help me get my fill. And I would be able to document the snot out of the trip for future fan fiction inspiration and fun here on the blog.

Or I could forget my camera. You know, whatever works.

I'd just returned from my cousin's wedding, where I'd remembered the camera and forgotten the charger. No way was that moronic mistake happening twice. No, no, no. I very carefully packed the charger for the camera before heading for Seattle . . . with the camera nicely left behind in the console of the car.

Facepalm, head-desk, the whole nine yards . . . it does not even begin to describe how I felt arriving in gloomy, overcast Ketchikan, Alaska all ready to get my Bella Swan on with the camera . . . and had no camera.

Like Jacob in human form (though not in jorts) I proceeded to hike moodily through the rain. I'm sure I looked just as bedraggled and morose when I rolled back into the local coffee shop for hot refreshment. However, while I definitely was pouting over the loss of the camera, I think it did help me focus on the mood of the place and make me bond more with the surrounding since I didn't have my lens in the way.of the ambiance.

On some of the other stops we made, the weather was just as Twilight-shitty as one could hope for. It made me appreciate what a rare miracle it would have been for it to have ever been sunny in the meadow for a sparklefest, and I was definitely ready to believe there were vampires and werewolves in the trees, because Lord knows no one else would feel at home in the desolate, drizzling landscape that presented itself at every turn.

The saddest moment, though, came when I was back in Seattle on Saturday, and I spotted fellow Twilight lovers camped out for early screenings of the movie, and I couldn't get their picture. Ladies, I love you and hope you ended up with great seats!

Recap of The Short Second Life Of Bree Tanner

2010-06-08T18:19:00.000-04:00

The marvelously snarky Cleolinda Jones has done a recap of the Bree Tanner novella. Think of it as the Cliff's Notes with commentary, and enjoy as you read it here.

Read The Bree Tanner Book For Free

2010-06-08T17:32:00.000-04:00

As you know, I have been super excited about the new Bree Tanner book out by Stephanie Meyer. I thought I was fairly informed, but then I got a link from a friend about a place to read it for free.

Um, squee much? Because I did.

The Short Second Life Of Bree Tanner is available at BreeTanner.com from now until July 5th. It's a simple but richly graphical site that has a format that lets you turn the pages of the book right on screen, although you can't download the book or print.

I'm a couple of pages in and I am super pleased with the way the website is working for me. No errors, and you can blow the Bree Tanner book up to full screen size for easier reading if you want.

To me, it's a great way to check out the book before I decide to buy it (although like a true fan girl, I will probably buy it anyway even if it ends up sucking. Damn must-collect-them-all-itis) and I hope you take advantage of the free Bree Tanner book online before it gets taken down July 5th.

Robert Pattinson FINALLY Gets His Kiss At The 2010 MTV Movie Awards

2010-06-07T01:46:00.000-04:00

Amid all of Twilight's nominations and wins at the 2010 MTV Movie Awards, I was pleased to see that Rob Pattinson finally got his awards show kiss from Kristen Stewart. As Twi-hards will remember, at the 2009 MTV Movie Awards, Kristen and Rob's Twilight kiss was also nominated for best kiss, but they faked out the crowd.

This year, no faking. However, already the Internet is abuzz and a-Twitter that the kiss was unscripted and that Kristen did not approve. To me, it doesn't exactly look like she was resisting, given that her arm is around Rob Pattinson's neck instead of punching him in the gut. So it will be interesting to see how this gets spun by the major gossip hounds over the next few days . . . but it was sure a fun moment for the crowd!

One Year Since The Twilight Revolution

2010-06-01T04:30:00.000-04:00

This Memorial Day weekend, while others pondered much more serious fare, I pondered that it was the year anniversary of my discovery of the Twilight Saga.

Hello, Old Friends

My, what a year it has been!

If you had told me before I picked up the books that I would read them all in 24 hours, I would not have believed you. If you had told me that a year later I would have written nearly 200 blog posts and nearly 50,000 words of Twilight fan fiction, I would have laughed my ass off.

Yeah, well, shut up. I'm guilty as charged on all counts.

Looking back on the year, these are a few of the things that stand out to me:

Taylor Lautner Has Gotten Hotter

In the beginning, there was Sharkboy with the long hair. Not attractive. Nothing doing. Then it turned out that he really, really wanted to be Jacob Black again for New Moon. The baby fat disappeared as the muscles sprang out and damn! Would you look at that?

I would. MMMMmmmm. And he's 18 now.

I Don't Really Care About The Other Movies

I am aware that members of the Twilight clan have made other movies, and that many more movies are in the works. Unfortunately, I'm not all that interested in those movies. The Runaways doesn't grip me, and even though it will be out on DVD July 20th, and the only reason I'm interested in Water For Elephants is because I read the book and loved it. I think Reese Witherspoon will be awful in it, and thus it's hard to get all worked up for the movie, Robert Pattinson or no Robert Pattinson. Clearly, loving the other Twilight related works is going to be a work in progress kind of thing.

There Can Be Only One Victoria

When Summit announced that Rachelle Lefevre was kicked out of Twilight, I had one of those moments I never thought would ever, ever happen to me.

I had a fan girl hissy fit.

I still am not over this. It's making me not want to see Eclipse because every time I see that god-awful Bryce Dallas Howard in the Eclipse trailer every fiber of my being screams out WRONG, WRONG, WRONG.

Do not want does not even begin to cover this. Actor substitutions are only marginally acceptable in sequels anyway, and definitely not when they involve subbing out a character who is kick ass awesome in favor of some suck ass who is going to mess the whole thing up.

Stomp, stomp, fume, pout. I will be a spoiled little fan girl about this. Damn you, Summit monsters, damn you all to hell.

No Being Mean To Alice

If you had asked me a year ago who Ashley Greene even was, I would have looked at you blankly. Now, not only can I tell you way, way more about her than you ever wanted to know, I insist that no one be mean to my Alice. I also routinely complain about the way they dress her character, and have developed a sadly detailed memory for who wore what when on the red carpets as a result. I did not care about any of this nonsense a year ago, and now I tremble in my boots that they will kick her out of the Breaking Dawn movie. Sigh.

Fan Fiction Rocks

I have become a perpetual pimper of my own fan fiction, Distilling Down, as an extension of my love for a source of stories I didn't even know existed until I tripped over Twilight. If the me I was before Twilight knew what the Twi-hard I am now read for fun, I would be mocked. Mercilessly. And yet here we are, with the story posted in three communities and hopelessly addicted to it all. Hours of my life disappear into fan fic that were formerly spent reading *real* books and I am . . .

. . . 100% okay with that. Suck it, real books.

All in all, it has been a good and rewarding year since I found Twilight . . . and I am curious to see what the next year brings!

Chapters 10 & 11 Of Distilling Down Up

2010-05-21T03:36:00.002-04:00

Real life takes its toll on my twi-time, but I have been etching out a few minutes for fan fic writing!

The new chapters of Distilling Down are up, and you can read them on the main Fan Fiction site here:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5382391/10/
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5382391/11/

I've also starting posting on MyVampFiction, so if you are a reader there, watch for the new chapters!

Chapter 9 of Distilling Down is Live!

2010-04-25T13:29:00.001-04:00

After many delays, Chapter 9 of Distilling Down is live! Go, read, enjoy: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5382391/10/

Jodelle Ferland On Bree Tanner Book

2010-04-24T18:57:00.003-04:00

As I continue to explore information about Stephanie Meyer's promotional book, The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner, I found this interview about the book with Jodelle Ferland, who plays Bree in Eclipse.

The Book Brings Me Back To The Fold

2010-04-23T18:29:00.005-04:00

It took a book to get me hooked on the Twilight phenomenon, and it's taken a book to get me back with the program.

It wasn't like I was consciously avoiding the Twi-dom. I've still been working on Distilling Down, my fan fic, and loosely keeping up with the Twilight related news. Being in Ecuador made it harder, and real life has kind of intruded as well. Since I think you should Twi-hard or go home, I opted to go home for a while.

And then I saw this.

The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner. I want.

And now I can't quite stay away. I am actually pretty damn excited for this thing to come out in June. I've been struggling to get excited for the Eclipse trailer, in part because every time I see Bryce Dallas Howard's face my whole being rises up and screams THAT IS NOT RIGHT but this Bree Tanner thing? This I can be excited about.

Part of the money from the book sales will go to charity. This justifies everything.

MWAH-HAHAHA. . . and I'm totally sucked back in. I have some mega reading todo, having taken an effective leave of absence from my blog rolls since February, but from Taylor Lautner's birthday to those hot billboards of Kellan Lutz in his underwear, I am looking forward to catching up.

Breaking Dawn = 2 Parts!

2010-02-11T20:33:00.001-05:00

It's official, people. Breaking Dawn will be two movies, which is great news, except Melissa Rosenburg will be adapting them.

No word on a director. . . this has been kicked around for about a million years, so I'm glad they finally decided something. Now just to get the details sorted!

Jacob Black Tonner Doll = Fail

2010-02-09T22:38:00.002-05:00

I don't have much to say about the new Tonner doll that's supposed to represent Jacob Black other than no. Just, no.

Creepy Ken? Yes, this is.

Jacob Black. . . not so much. Can't they at least make it look like Taylor Lautner? The arms are especially disturbing.

Wrong, wrong, wrong. . . fail!

New Moon Hit By Razzie Nominations

2010-02-04T18:28:00.002-05:00

I know I've been blog fail for a bit now, as Ecuador is a great vacation spot with crap for Internet bandwidth. We're working on it.

I did manage to sneak in some unauthorized Internet usage today and discovered that New Moon had been nominated for multiple Razzie Awards. Razzies are pretty much the anti-honor, given to the "worst of" categorizations. While the Twilight cast thankfully didn't sweep the nominations, there were still a few nods in there to our team.

The Twilight Trifecta got nominated for Worst Screen Couple of 2009. In some recognition of the love triangle in New Moon, the three of them were nominated in dual pairs, as Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson or Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner.

Independently, Rob Pattinson earned a Razzie nod for his New Moon portrayal of Edward in the Worst Supporting Actor of 2009 category, and Melissa Rosenburg earned a nomination for Worst Screenplay. I think Twifans will second that, and I also blame Melissa Rosenburg's screenplay for the nomination that the Twilight Saga: New Moon received in the Worst Remake, Sequel, or Rip-Off category.

For a full list of the Razzie nominees, you can hit the Razzies homepage, and we'll just have to stay tuned March 6, 2010 to see if the Twilight crew ends up being a "winner" of any of the Razzie Awards.

Rob Pattinson's Hope For Haiti Appeal

2010-01-23T14:04:00.002-05:00

I missed it live last night, but here it is online, complete with the donation information below. There's some other Twi-news today, but we'll just focus on helping others for a while, m'kay?

To donate to Hope for Haiti Now, you have a number of choices. Hope for Haiti is online at HopeForHaitiNow.org or you can go mobile and call (877) 99-HAITI or text “GIVE” to 50555. Snail mailers can write to Hope for Haiti Now Fund, Entertainment Industry Foundation, 1201 West 5th Street, Suite T-700, Los Angeles, CA 90017.

Distilling Down Is Famous!

2010-01-22T12:16:00.003-05:00

Okay, so my fan fiction story, Distilling Down, isn't that famous. Nor am I as an author. The two of us, however, did get interviewed this week by WhyNotFO for the So You Think You Can Write blog.

Here are a few takes from their post about the story and the interview:

"Are you looking for an amazing mindfuck of a story? One where you can’t tell which way is up… but you can’t wait for the next chapter? I definitely recommend Distilling Down! This is in no way your ordinary, run-of-the-mill Twi love story. We first encounter Bella on a beach, looking at a picture of her smiling in the arms of a man that she was hired by the Volturi to kill? Capture? We don’t know. And that is only the first mystery. I don’t want to give away too much (like I could!), because I want you to read this incredible story. Take away the Twi garb..uh… STUFF (hint-hint), and this could be a best seller.

The plot winds between Russia, Italy, Washington… and that’s just in the first few chapters. We meet old friends, and new characters, as well as the characters we’ve come to know used in interesting, different ways. Though Emoward remains, he actually has a reason this time! Remember sweet, motherly Esme? Uh-uh. “Independent Operative” of whom even the Volturi are afraid. Jasper? Dark past. Double agent once? Maybe. Same with Laurent. My favorite change up is Boxer Ben. LOL!

And Bella? Ahhh… our sweet, sweet Bella. Deliciously frightening and mysterious. An Angel of Death, who takes vamp and human alike. Some of my favorite lines are at the end of chapter two:

“Pile what up?”

“The same thing she always does, Alice. Bodies. Wherever she is, you know someone’s dying.”

I'm in authorial heaven over here . . I've never been interviewed as an author before and I'm so happy right now it's ridiculous. Also . . .must work on the story! If they're going to love on me, the least I can do is deliver new chapters!

Twilight + Haiti = Good Things

2010-01-19T15:12:00.002-05:00

Rumors swirled for days, but it has now been confirmed that Robert Pattinson will participate in the telethon for Haiti. Currently, he's the only confirmed presenter for the London site, which means the fandom's favorite recluse will be the star of the show.

Kristen will be at Sundance. Taylor Swift is performing (she's Twilight by association, okay?), but no word on some of the others.

Taylor Lautner, Tuxedo Style

2010-01-18T12:59:00.003-05:00

While the Golden Globes were painful to watch (Ricky Gervais, ick!), there was one bright spot in the evening.

Taylor Lautner may have sounded a little stilted as he presented, but he looked good in his suit. No idea what it was made of . . .shiny something. I've heard rumors of pleather, but my brain just can't process the werewolf Jacob in pleather that so we'll settle for shiny. Shiny is good.

Shirtless Sunday: Jackson Rathbone

2010-01-17T13:54:00.002-05:00

Can I get an AMEN? I am loving these new stills from Jackson Rathbone's movie, HURT. It makes me almost brave enough to see the film, but I'm not sure even a shirtless Jackson Rathbone could get me past my horror movie squeamishness. Still . . . they're not bad, are they?

Happy Trails To You

Seriously, why can't Jackson Rathbone be shirtless in the Twilight movies? Why does he have to be known for his bad hair? As soon as they pick their new director, the fandom needs to submit a list of demands. Item 1? Less bad wig, more exposed abs for Mr. Rathbone.

Funny Reaction To Breaking Dawn

2010-01-16T16:26:00.002-05:00

Couldn't resist sharing when I saw this!

Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning Makeout? ICK!

2010-01-15T23:17:00.003-05:00

I'll confess that I've been looking forward to seeing The Runaways when it comes out. I was a little too young to have been that into the music scene when they were big, but I am a later in life lover of Joan Jett music, so it was on my list.

My understanding of the plot was that it was generally about the band and their life. Now, MTV Sneak Peek is raving on and on about how the makeout scene between Kristen Steward and Dakota Fanning is going to be "explosive" and how the director just couldn't not include the sexual interaction between Joan Jett and Cherie Currie.

Yeah, I just bet he couldn't resist. Pervert.

Yes, I know it happened. That doesn't mean I want to see it on film. Especially when I know that one of the actresses is not yet 18. It's just . . . kind of gross? Inappropriate? I don't know . . it just doesn't feel like something I'd enjoy watching on a number of levels, at least one of them oddly parental. Forget about your agent letting you do something . . . did your mom have anything to say about this?

Then there's the level of odd that it's Bella and Jane making out here, since you know that's an alternative reality scenario right there. It just adds to the wrong.

Sign. I'm in the movie for the music, not the cheap lesbian thrills.

More Music, Less Makeout, Okay?

Robert Pattinson's Lipstick Mystery Solved

2010-01-15T23:04:00.003-05:00

A long running pet peeve of mine has been the lipstick on Edward's character in both Twilight and New Moon. When I watch the movie, I think "Who thought that would be a good idea?"

Mystery Solved

Norma Hill-Patton. Congratulations. While I envy you the unfettered access you have to Rob Pattinson's lips, I could just smack you for what you put on them. It looks neither right nor natural.

Distilling Down Chapter 6 Is Up!

2010-01-13T01:24:00.002-05:00

Chapter 6 has arrived . . . and is twice as long as the usual chapters! Read it here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5382391/7/

A brief teaser:

St. Petersburg, Jasper’s POV

Laurent had better get here soon. The café was slow this afternoon, and the waitress was giving me the evil eye as I lingered over my coffee, no doubt hoping I would cash out soon so she could go do whatever it was waitresses did on a dead day. Sadly, I had to stay. Laurent, you late bastard, hurry the fuck up.

The birds had taken care of the roll, saving me from going through the pretense of eating it. I hadn’t meant to order it, but with my Russian skills even being at the right café was a gift from God. I wasn’t about to bitch over a few unwanted pastries.

Shifting in my seat, I started in with the affirmations. You are patient, I told myself. You are calm. So calm, in fact, that in less than .02 seconds I was going to show that waitress where she could stuff her stink eye.

Deep breaths, Jasper. You are not here to eat the civilians. I missed being an unregulated gangster. Respectability had its moments, but this was not one of them.

Ashley Greene + Skinsuits + Sobe = Man Fail

2010-01-11T17:27:00.004-05:00

So, Ashley Greene has been returning to her modeling ways, and has figured out how to confound every male on the planet with her latest photoshoot. Now, I was fascinated with the painted on scales and the whole idea of rolling around in the ocean in something that is probably water soluble . . . in front of a camera, no less, but I kind of viewed it as art. Anything that takes 12 hours to paint on by hand is art, right?

Okay, so it's pretty sexy art. And it does kind of lure you into wondering what Ashley Greene has under her skinsuit. Except that's obvious, right? The whole point of the skinsuit and the Sobe campaign of "Zero Inhibitions" is that Ashley Green is NAKED under the skinsuit. Because it's just paint, right?

And then my friend goes . . . "So where are her nipples?" and like a straight forward, practical type, I point out that her photo shoot is clearly at the beach, Turks and Caicos to be exact, so its not like she's cold. Besides, I'm a girl, and my mild technical curiosity around such things was satisfied by the invention of Photoshop.

Unfortunately, he's a guy, and details like Photoshopping the scales on the skinsuit seem hard, and these are outtakes, so in theory not processed, so this is a problem that just continues to confound him. It's like the whole shoot was engineered to make his brain fail. There is nothing else he's going to get done today besides wonder what is under there to make the nipples disappear. Whole universes could collapse around him, and he'll still be staring at these photos of Ashley Greene, wondering what went wrong.

I can only imagine the state of the world when these appear in Sports Illustrated's Swimsuit Edition. It hits newsstands February 10th, and it just might be the man fail heard round the world.

Kellan Lutz In February Cosmopolitan

2010-01-11T16:22:00.001-05:00

Cosmopolitan magazine has declared 2010 the "Year of the Vampire" and are featuring vampires in their February edition. You'd think Robert Pattinson would get the vamp champ starring feature, but instead it went to Kellan Lutz. I'll take that.

Taylor Lautner Now Worth $7.5 Million

2010-01-06T01:37:00.003-05:00

Apparently Taylor Lautner is more than willing to trade on his Twilight Saga fame. The kid (or probably his super dad) have just finished negotiations that official make Taylor Lautner the highest paid teenage actor in Hollywood.

$7.5 Million? I'm worth it!

According to Deadline Hollywood, the big payday is for a new film called Northern Lights. Tom Cruise is involved with the film, which is about fighter pilots. (Tom Cruise and fighter pilots. Right, who knew?). According to Nikki Finke over at Deadline, neither Zack Efron or Miley Cyrus make as much as Lautner, even though they have more acting experience. To which one can only say, experience, schmexperience. Who's got the hot abs here?

New Year, New Plans, New Fics

2010-01-02T19:50:00.003-05:00

Welcome to 2010!

I know that lots of people have been doing reflections back on the decade that just passed, but I'm still home with the parents for the holidays (leaving for Ecuador the 13th, make it please come sooner!) and so I don't want to look back on the decade because I'm feeling enough time warp as it is just sleeping in my old room.

Thus, let's forget the past and focus on the future. Now, I'm not going to be one of those yahoos jumping up and down screaming about how 2010 is gonna be great. It's not gonna be that great, y'all. Calm the eff down. Loud noises in early January are bad, okay?

However, 2010 should be reasonably decent, and I'm looking forward to the year ahead. Lots of good things are going to happen, like me spending the rest of the winter somewhere warm and Eclipse coming out.

I also want to get back to posting every day, even though I know it likely won't happen until after I am out of the parents house. The Twilight withdrawal has diminished to a dull, yet constant ache somewhere in the back of my brain. I can't explain to Mom & Dad why changing the channel away when Taylor Lautner and Taylor Swift broke up was a party foul. I just have to endure.

My endurance has been tempered by some sneaky fan fiction reading. Thought I'd share a few of my new favorites here, in case you are looking for a way to pass the time!

1. Irritable Grizzly Adams: Ignore that the title doesn't scream Twilight Fan Fiction. This story is a good alternative universe creation based on a unique take on the break up scene and the Edward-never-comes-back theme. I was hooked from the first chapter. I wasn't alone in falling hard for the story, as The Lazy, Yet Discerning Ficster also recommended it way back in the day. It even has a thread on Twilighted for the dedicated!

2. Geek Love: In addition to being an absolutely awesome story, I'm so thrilled that the author of Geek Love, SassenachWench, replied to pretty much every review I left. She seems like a funny, cool, and well-adjusted type--and yes, I am fan crushing on her hard-core at the moment. The story is Bella and Edward as computer geek types, complete with Nerf battles and binary code references. Updates regularly with lovely subtle humor and some gut busting scenes, too. Chapter 22 should be out soon!

Also, while I'm at it: You need to check out Elemental for a cool twist on the Forks families, The Naked Guy Upstairs for light laughs and love, and Art After 5 for some really well done angst (I've loved on this one before, but now it's complete!).

PS: My photo comparing Kellan Lutz to Marky Mark for the Calvin Klein campaign got pulled since Mr. Wanberg was in his underwear. I think this is a bad sign for my plan for billboard scans of the Kellan campaign, don't you?

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-24T17:11:00.004-05:00

Just wanted to take a minute to thank everyone for reading, and wish you all a very Merry Christmas and joyous holiday season. I've already been presented with my first Twilight gift, from a friend who really thought I needed this:

I know an embarrassingly large number of the answers, although questions like "Who was the first out in the vampire baseball game?" totally had me stumped. (It was Rosalie). Presenting it to the family as a gag gift and we are so playing it this next week while the sisters are here and we are all snowed in here.

In addition to my gag gift from my friend, the universe also chipped in with the announcement that Kellan Lutz will be the new Marky-Mark style underwear boy for Calvin Klein.

Frankly, I can not wait for those billboards to go up ;-)

Anyway, with a warm image to send you off, have a very Happy Holidays!

Chapter 5 of Distilling Down is Up!

2009-12-16T12:05:00.003-05:00

Sorry it has been quiet . . . I've been sick and also been moving house. Everytime I move, I swear it's the last time, and every time I lie.

I did make some progress in the story arena, and I am pleased that this chapter turned out to be funnier than I'd planned while still moving the action along.

Here's a short teaser:

St. Petersburg, Bella’s POV

Rage made my vision swim and I hugged the chimneystack tighter. Get a hold of yourself, I thought. So you’ve been shot. You’ve been shot before. What’s a few darts instead of bullets? My body responded with another bout of the heaves. Okay, I thought, maybe I need to lay down for a while and recover instead of running around on rooftops in the warm evening sun.

Just as soon as I figured out where to go to ground. Letting go of the chimneystack, I started unsteadily for the next house. Counting detours to make sure there was no Laurent behind me, I was what . . . three miles from a safe place? Four?

Unless Laurent was waiting for me up ahead. The thought brought me up short, which was a bad thing, because I’d already jumped for the next rooftop.

Oh, this just makes my day, I thought. I grabbed for the ledge and missed, stripped a power cord, thumped a balcony, and landed stonily on my feet.

Right in front of a ghost.

“Holy shit!” he exclaimed, stepping back.

“Ben Cheney.” I replied, straightening up. Or trying to. My head spun, my vision swam, and the sidewalk zoomed up to meet me.

Read the rest at: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5382391/6/

Kellan Lutz: Not So Pretty In Pink

2009-12-10T17:12:00.003-05:00

Here's a photo of Kellan Lutz at the Golden Globes party honoring Young Hollywood. I hate to say it, but this picture pretty much sucks. I love Kellan and think he's super hot in most photos, but his skin, the blond hair, and this background do not go together.

Real Life Sucks Like The Paparazzi

2009-12-10T01:55:00.003-05:00

Going in to the holiday season, I will confess that I envisioned myself rolling in a smorgasboard of fun Twilight related adventures coming after New Moon before having to pack things away to face my parents like a grown adult. (Oh, that movie with the vampires? Never heard of it) Instead, it seems like all I have done since Thanksgiving is be miles behind on reading my favorite blogs and catching up. My blog "to do" list is now almost as long as my real life "to do" list.

And so help me, my real life to do list is long. Where was my mind when I thought moving in mid-December would be a piece of cake? Even more importantly, where was my mind when I thought taking on four new work projects and breaking out with a fan fiction story of my very own was going to work out well.

Last night's emergency: Could not open a .odt file with my Project Team Beta feedback vs. articles due today for client in Australia

Solution: Blow four hours fighting with Open Office download. Crash computer. Rant. Retry. Lose again. Rant. Finish the second book in the Black Dagger Brotherhood series (recommend!) while downloading again. Finesse Chapter 5 of my story. No actual work, feel guilty for attempting to research Max Steel (if that's going to be Taylor Lautner, I need to know) and get no actual work done.

Yep. No work done last night. Which is why I am working tonight, again, and will be all weekend, AGAIN. While having blog withdrawls. I'm catching them up one at a time, and storing away a monster folder of things I want to talk about here. In my other 24 hours in a day . . .

Support the Twilight universe on my behalf, people! I'm letting the team down at the moment.

I Joined Twitter For The Hair

2009-12-06T16:51:00.002-05:00

The apocalypse must be near, because I've joined Twitter. For the hair.

Not just any hair. The Cullen's hair . . .or more specifically, the associated wigs. It's hysterical on some levels, weird in others, and fascinating to me all the while because while I knew that Twitter was happening, I wasn't on board.

I am now, though. You can find me as @runsfromreality, and just bear with me until I get the hang of this all.

Stuff The Critiques, Fan Boys

2009-12-06T16:44:00.002-05:00

My head is swimming a bit as I try to absorb all the New Moon commentary that has been going on while my mom was here and I was a bit . . . distracted. I did make it through the New Moon in 15 minutes, but otherwise it's just been random things here and there. I have noted an inordinate amount of fan boy glee over The Blind Side knocking New Moon out of its #1 perch.

Here's the thing, fan boys. You can just suck it. Yes, I know you hate every aspect of the Twilight saga. It offends you on some visceral level, and you just can't leave it alone. You know why?

We don't care that you don't like it.

I really do think that's what's at the bottom of a large back of the harsh reception by the "official" commentary on New Moon (Read 7 threatened fanboy responses to New Moon to see what I mean) . The movie has made over $600 million bucks, despite critics panning it left and right. It's fun to watch, and even more fun if you've read all the books. Who cares if some hipper than you film critic hates it?

And that just chafes their willies. It's not being wrong . . . it's being considered irrelevant.

New Moon in 15 Minutes

2009-12-03T14:30:00.003-05:00

If you've been with me for a while, you know that I am a mega-fan of Cleolinda Jones and her take on the Twilight saga. It was one of my first introductions into the world of Twilight snark and commentary, and I'm a loyalists.

Thus, while Mummy packs up for the airport, I snuck off to read the New Moon in 15 Minutes.

Totally worth it! And the comments on the posting are great too--apparently you can now follow the Cullen's hair on Twitter. Start with @jaspercurls and go from there. But first . . .

New Moon in 15 Minutes, courtesy of Cleolinda Jones.

Twi-Life on the DL

2009-12-02T14:26:00.001-05:00

A quick shout out to the Twilight community - - I miss you! My mom is staying with me this week, making my opportunities to get my reading and posting done limited in the extreme. Something about not wanting to explain my fixation . . . . I'll be back with a vengeance on the weekend!

Distilling Down Has Banners!

2009-11-27T14:50:00.003-05:00

While real life (and my turkey coma) has been keeping me from finishing Chapter 4, I am so pleased to share a banner created for Distilling Down by MisforMarisa. Not only is she a super fan who makes my day, but she also is a banner queen!

I'm hoping to be able to catch up the chapters on Twilighted and then add Chapter 4 to the beta queue soon. In the meantime, if you haven't read the existing chapters, check out Distilling Down now.

Female Turkeys On Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T01:26:00.001-05:00

Have a great day, everyone!

Screw You, Interstate 40

2009-11-25T19:39:00.003-05:00

Okay, this post is only marginally Twilight related. Think Team Jacob for a minute. However, it has more to do with the utter bear that was my trip home for Thanksgiving.

The trip started out okay, other than the rain. But you know what? I can handle a little rain. It's not like I am going to move to Forks anytime soon, but I was down with the rain.

And then they closed the Interstate.

And then . . . .ugh. GPS is only so helpful when the main road is closed. I had to resort to physical maps, and even then I had to retrace my steps twice and start over. Interstate 40 wasn't closed for just a few miles. It was closed for a heckuva stretch due to some rock slides.

You know you're on the wrong kind of short cut when the fastest route is over the Blue Ridge Parkway. This is my official shout out to Highway 19 . . .you kind of suck, you know that? One lane the whole way, and I got to watch God's country swing by at a leisurely 35 mph while the Hyundai Santa Fe in front of me took its sweet time.

My main consolation was that I got to short cut through an Indian reservation. Crabby and bitchtastic to the max in the car, I'd vented to everyone I knew until God removed my cell phone signal. With no choice but to try and make the best of things, I attempted to spot Wolf Pack worthy locals as I passed through Cherokee.

No such luck, although I did see an Indian dancer in full dress costume. Sadly, not the same as a jorts wearing wolfie.

My little detour only added about three hours to my drive. No big deal, since I was only doing about 13 hours of driving that day. What's another three hours, right?

I was so happy to see civilization again . . . until I realized I'd spit myself out in Pigeon Forge . . .home of Dollywood.

Yep, it's gonna be a long Thanksgiving. Hope yours is going better!

New Moon Makes A Bazillion Dollars

2009-11-22T23:03:00.002-05:00

Well ladies and gentlemen, it appears as though the Summit Entertainment people will definitely be laughing all the way to the bank. The New Moon movie raked it $140.7 million in its opening run.

Screw You, Critics--We're Rich!

While Rotten Tomatoes and other semi-reputable movie critic sites are maintaining their stance of "New Moon Sucks Balls", the regular folks out here are liking it. It's LOLtastic and angsty and there's brooding and shirtless wolves. Escapism at its finest, people. Let other people watch black and white french bullhonky and enjoy the "art"--I for one have a good time enjoying fluffy, funny movies like this.

And mocking the lipstick--wow, was it bad. And the wigs. Oh man, Jasper's hair! And the Volturi--ye gods, people, what was up with that? I can see where "serious" movie folks might get their hate out. But I'm okay with laughing at the silly parts and just rolling with it.

It's been a relaxing weekend after the big night out at the theater, and I am curious to see where the twi-sanity gets to go from here. We've all been working up to this movie release for so long that now that it's here, we're going to have to set some new milestones. Eclipse, anyone? ;-)

New Moon = 10 x Hilarious

2009-11-20T03:28:00.002-05:00

So, my neighbor got me to go see the 12:30 showing of New Moon. That's right--I've officially seen the New Moon movie we've all been SOOOO obsessed with and . . .

I LOL'ED. I mean, there were part where I honestly cackled. Loudly. You must go see this for yourself.

Total scene stealer? Billy Burke as Charlie Swan.

Best unexpected quote? Harry Clearwater: "My kung fu is strong"

Best and most expected part: The Shirtless Wonders

Seeing it again tomorrow night and totally looking forward to it!

New Moon Day And I'm Under The Bus

2009-11-19T10:52:00.003-05:00

And the big day is finally here! How excited are you? More importantly, HOW EXCITED AM I?

Yes, yes, yes!

Very, my friends, very. For while I will not be watching the movie at midnight tonight, I will be doing a perfect double header evening with one of my very best girlfriends tomorrow night. What makes that even more perfect is it wasn't even my own Twitarded idea! I had originally planned to go to the midnight show in Durham tonight with the Raleigh meetup group, but I will confess that my old, tired ass was not excited about being up until 3 am. And then . . . . I was rescued!

Such a cute call! I've conned this poor girl into reading the first book and some fan fiction (we have an addict, score!) and gradually worked her into at least openness to seeing the New Moon movie, so imagine my thrill when she said she wanted to see if it would be okay if I skipped the premier in favor of coming to Charlotte to watch the original Twilight and then go to a late show of New Moon. I was pumped! The only downside, of course, is having to watch the original Twilight movie--damn you Catherine Hardwicke, damn you.

So here I am on cloud 9 and then I talked to my sister.

For the record, she started it.

And by it, I mean my whole obsession with the Twilight world. They were her books. This is ALL HER FAULT.

I mean, really.

So, I was sharing with her my thrill of the movie coming up and all the bloggy clips and the wonderful videos from the Twilight publicity tour, and she comes back with, "You've gotten a little too into that, you know. It's kind of weird."

WTF? What is that sensation? Oh yeah, it's my ass getting thrown under the bus by the fan who started it all.

*GROWLING, CURSING, ETC* I am going to enjoy the movie twice as hard, just to spite her. oooOOOOOOoooo . . . . it's on.

New Moon Premier Outfits For The Laughs

2009-11-17T11:25:00.002-05:00

Okay, these two get in here just for making me smile.

Justin Chon

I seriously thought the combover was only for gramps.

Kellan Lutz

I love that you are so obviously happy to be here! While not all members of the cast may be enjoying their fame *cough*ROB*cough* somebody out there is having the time of his life. Love you Kellan!

New Moon Premier Outfits: Outfits In The Middle

2009-11-17T11:10:00.005-05:00

These are a few of the outfits that I didn't love, but I didn't hate, either. Some of them I feel really bad about categorizing like this, but hey--it's not like these people don't have professionals dressing them.

Ashley Greene

It's no secret that I like Ashley Greene, and it's no surprise that she was going for sexy here on the red carpet. I mean, she does have that Maxim photoshoot to live up to! However, this outfit just wasn't doing anything for me--I've seen her in better. There's no visual interest here--it's just a red dress.

Jackson Rathbone

Jackson honey, you're supposed to be hot. While black tie attire is appropriate, it's not getting the job done with the black hair. You're looking just a little washed out here--grey suit next time?

Mike Welch

On one hand, you are dressed up. On the other hand, you look like a car salesman. It may be genetic, but a paisley tie? Who's dad had that lying around? Or were you just trying to stay in the Mike Newton character as much as possible?

New Moon Premier Outfits: Losers

2009-11-17T11:02:00.005-05:00

Sadly, I did not get to go to the premier. Something about not being famous? My invitation must have been lost in the mail, but that's okay because I still get to play my favorite game: Who dressed you for the New Moon premier and did you see a mirror on the way out the door?

Grand Champion: Jamie Campbell Bower

Jamie, I'm about to let you in on a big secret here: Robert Pattinson is the messy hair sex god. There can be only one. What is is with the Volturi guys? Go find a hair brush!

First Place: Noot Seer

Standing here with Esme Cullen aka Elizabeth Reaser (white's not your color, honey), the Volturi's temptress Noot Seer is wearing . . . what is she wearing? It's a dress of some sort, but it seems to have escaped from the zoo. Or an acid trip.

Honorable Mention:
Nikki Reed

Billionaire boyfriend and a supposedly rocking body . . . in a silk sack. Seriously, who dresses you. It's almost a repeat of your Teen Choice Awards outfit.

Honorable Mention:
Jessica Kendrick

Jessica Kendrick appears to have been attacked by a rapid bejeweler here. Not sure what inspired this outfit, especially as Jessica is one member of the cast that actually does have a fair amount of red carpet experience.

New Moon Premier Outfits: Winners

2009-11-17T11:01:00.004-05:00

It's red carpet time people, which means it is also time for breaking down the outfits that were. This post is dedicated to all those Twi-cast members who were able to correctly work out what to wear to a premier where they will be photographed approximately a bazillion times. You could hear the cameras clicking away the whole time the red carpet feed was "streaming", which is Internet speak for buffering and teasing me until I give up. Fortunately, a picture is worth 1,000 pieces of buffering nonsense.

Without further ado, the winners on the New Moon premier red carpet:

Kristen Stewart

I may like some of the edgier looks from the New Moon movie promotional tour on her better, but there is no denying that Kristen Steward was representing Bella Swan with class here.

Taylor Lautner

Taylor certainly cleans up nicely!

Rob Pattinson

Basically, this one is here because Rob Pattinson in a suit on the red carpet = win.

Julia Jones

Yes, you play the mean girl. Fortunately, you still know how to look sweet on the red carpet. Not to showy, not limelight sucking away from the stars, and still full of class. Way to go!

Kellan Lutz + Lindsay Lohan = No Dice

2009-11-16T11:03:00.002-05:00

This little news item just crossed my radar and made me laugh. Who knew there was a Lindsay Lohan and Kellan Lutz connection?

I'll drain anyone who implies we're together

Apparently, Lindsay Lohan was out drinking last week and tried to pass her bar bill over to Kellan Lutz by having the waitress charge his card for her drinks. While I'm appalled that she can get that close to him but I can't, it seems that as usual, the boy acted with some sense.

In other words, DENIED. He declined to pay for her drinks, leaving her to scramble to cover her own tab--as well she should.

Best.Monday.Ever.

2009-11-16T10:57:00.003-05:00

Ignore that I woke up puking. This day has gone from absolute hell to awesomesauce with one little shift.

No, it's not that I realized that in less than 4 days I will actually be watching the whole of New Moon, and not just the 15 or so minutes we've stolen out of trailers.

My story, Distilling Down, got accepted by Twilighted! Even better was the compliment that I got from the validation beta, who said it was one of the best first chapters she'd seen.

To say it made my day would be an understatement. I no longer care about my upset stomach or being able to hear the neighbor's kid crying through the walls. I'm floating on air with little birds chirping around me like something that escaped from a Disney move.

If you're not reading Distilling Down, I humbly insist that you should. The first chapter is only the beginning, in more ways than one . . . read it now at Twilighted!

Worst Shirtless Jacob Black Doll Ever Made

2009-11-14T03:14:00.004-05:00

Okay, so Mattel's $24.95 version of a shirtless Jacob Black in jorts may be the only mass market doll available . . . but it's still the worst. I'm not sure whether to laugh at this or just cry over how horribly wrong this looks.

Available February 2010

One Week To The Shirtless Wonder

2009-11-14T02:38:00.002-05:00

I'm counting down . . .

Three

Two

One

One week until New Moon has been viewed by me and about a bajillion of my closest friends, who better not be loud when I'm trying to focus or I will beat the Twi-snot right out of them. There's only one thing left to do.

Re-read New Moon.

I know, I know. I blog about it, I watch the spoilers, I see the pics all day. Why haven't a I re-read this book? It's been sitting on my desk for weeks, just waiting for me to crack open the pages and dive right in, knowing I will be owned by the story until I am done.

Well, real life has been getting in the way a bit, but this week is the week! Enough spoiler watching and trailer re-playing. I've got to hit the book before I hit the theatre--and I think half the Twi-dom is going to be furiously flipping through the pages with me as we go.

Here's to those speed reading skills!

Catherine Hardwicke Needs To STFU

2009-11-13T03:51:00.003-05:00

In her most recent interview about Twilight, Catherine Hardwicke basically implies that Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart wanted to bang from day one, and would have done it the first day they met if she hadn't stopped them.

She said WHAT about us?! That hag!

Have I mentioned before that I think she's a crazed hag? Or that she annoys the snot out of me? Or that her movie making skills are atrocious, as witnessed by the fact that we all love the Twilight movie DESPITE its flaws (and Lord, the things we have to overlook . . sloppy, sloppy!). Seriously, someone needs to tell her to put a sock in it. Or someone could just put a sock in it. That works for me too.

Rob And Kristen Crash My Computer

2009-11-11T07:26:00.002-05:00

Well, I've been trying to upload photographic evidence of the relationship between Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, but every time I get almost ready to public, my computer crashes.

Apparently, the universe conspires against the spreading of news that they are in fact together.
Interesting . . . but you can ponder it more deeply over at TwiCrack Addict. The handholding between them is in fact real.

Now I'm hitting publish quick before the truth take the computer down again!

Distilling Down Chapter 3: Angels Out Of Church

2009-11-11T07:16:00.002-05:00

The new chapter of my fan fic is up! In this chapter of Distilling Down, Bella has to endure the loss of someone close to her, and finally close things up with a nasty ex-boyfriend who's been following her around. Pity that James never suspected she'd actually go through with it . . . but then again, he shouldn't have shot her.

Read the whole story here, and reviews get teaser (as well as my undying gratitude for reading).

No Werewolf For Christian Serratos

2009-11-10T02:19:00.002-05:00

In fact, no fur anything at all. Guess she's firmly Team Vampire?

Actually, the vamps eat the animals. Guess Christian Serratos is firmly Team Human. Although really, she ought to be on Team When-I'm-This-Hot-Why-Does-The-Twilight-Wardrobe-Dept-Make-Me-Look-Dumpy?

Taylor Swift Has A Good Twi-Humor Thing Going

2009-11-08T14:01:00.002-05:00

Taylor Swift has a pretty good sense of humor when it comes to her "connection" to the Twilight sage. Not only does she name-check "that werewolf from Twilight" in her hysterical Monologue Song, but she was also chill enough to do the following Twilight spoof:

Ah, real talent. Please, please clone yourself.

Millions Of Men Are About To Get Interested In Twilight

2009-11-08T10:19:00.002-05:00

It's official. Millions of men are about to develop a sudden, intense desire to see the new Twilight movie. Why?

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

Imagine their shock when they get to the theater and discover that Ashley Greene as vampire Alice Cullen looks like this the whole movie:

Thank You, Chris Pizzello

2009-11-08T00:58:00.002-05:00

Not only was my day brightened by my football team winning, but there are also these lovely new photos by Chris Pizzello of Robert Pattinson. Photographer Chris Pizzello is known for his celebrity portraits, and he also has a nice smile of his own. See Chris Pizzello's Lightstalker profile for proof.

The rest of his portfolio completely disregarded, I do think these show the signs of a nice body of work:

In other news, the mall tour has kicked off. It's painful to me. Hence why I am seeking solace in Chris Pizzello's work!

And The Twi-Sanity Officially Kicks It Up A Notch

2009-11-07T02:13:00.005-05:00

Holy hell, people. It is like, what? Day One of the mega-publicity blitz and after reading my updates for the last hour I am not even to the end. Keep in mind that I checked in this morning, too.

It's that intense out there. And that's before I even touch the fan fiction front . . .

Let me 'splain . . .

No, is too much. Let me sum up.

The short version, in no particular order:

Stephenie Meyer will be on Oprah November 13th. If only I didn't hate Oprah so damn much for Dr. Phil and a hundred other gag me transgressions . . . I will buy Harper's Bazaar but watching Oprah is going to far. The fandom is going to have to take one for the team for me on this one. Clips I will watch.
How many Extended Access clips are there of the cast doing interviews about New Moon? I move they just read us the script. Then I could just hear the audio instead of putting up with the buffering, buffering, buffering I get on the video.
The Eclipse movie poster is out. It's a little creepy.

I got a real combat trained soldier to walk through a fight scene with me for my fan fic, Distilling Down. How excited am I for the next chapter? Oh, very. Next week!
Project Team Beta, I love you. Just giving the shout out now. I will read the 10 emails I have from you as soon as I finish watching the Wolf Pack do their interview thin g.
I had no idea Taylor Lautner was short. Check his foot! It's a total Tom Cruise thing.

Until tomorrow!

Twilight Moms Scare Taylor Lautner

2009-11-06T12:42:00.002-05:00

Well, this is just great.

Apparently, the crazy Twilight mothers out there who are using their teenage daughters as excuses to go to Twilight events are scaring The Young One.

It's not you. It's your Mom. I think she wants to eat me.

The poor New Moon hottie Taylor Lautner is getting a little intimidated by the ladies at his promotional events. Frankly, if someone old enough to be my parent came up and said this to me I would freak out, too. Here's his story, as told to Star Magazine:

"I was at a signing and this mum and her teenage daughter are walking up. And the mum's shaking, she's so excited. "They get to the front, and the mum goes, 'Taylor, I'm wearing panties that have your name on them. If I find a way to take them off and have you sign them, is that Ok?"

Lady, no. It. Is. Not. Ok.

Not okay! Bad idea! I realize that the magnetic pull of all the muscles that kid has put on as a part of playing Jacob Black is hard to resist. I get that. I really do. But he's still basically . . . okay, frankly, he is actually . . . UNDERAGE.

Now eventually, he will be old enough for all the crazy things his fans would like to do to him. However, crazy old Twilight moms, making him scared of all of his fans will not make it likely that he would ever go out with any of them. Instead, we'll all have scared him so bad that he'll turn into Robert Pattinson, hiding under hoodies and barricading himself into his hotel room.

So, crazy Twilight mom, thanks a lot. The whole fandom appreciates you. Now knock it off!

Dacre Stoker Publishes Dracula Sequel

2009-11-04T09:41:00.002-05:00

File this under things that make you go hmmmmm . . . .

Apparently, one of the descendants of the original Dracula writer is coming out with a sequel.

While the original press release to accompany this talked a lot about reviving the heritage of Dracula and going back to the original characterizations, I somewhat blame Stephanie Meyer for this. And True Blood. After all, only in a universe where vampires sparkle and have fantastic love lives could an "authentic revival" of the original franchise involve the addition of a blood-sucking lesbian countess they'd like to have played in the movie by Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Odd, right? Because while the book does come out this November, they have already planned the movie version. They are trying to get Johnny Depp to play Dracula.

I can picture it . . . kind of. It's just a bit strange--I've been a vampire fan for many years and have read the book. I saw the Francis Ford Coppola version of Bram Stoker's Dracula too and I liked it. I support the casting of Johnny Depp in most things, so I guess I would watch it if they made it into a movie.

It's just really, really odd to me to see a book published in 1897 coming out with a sequel in 2009. Your thoughts?

A Sexy Break From The Non-Stop Rob Hotness

2009-11-04T02:40:00.003-05:00

Remind me to bitch about the plethora of Wolf Pack promotional material more often, because it apparently spawns an explosion of Rob Pattinson photos. Thank you, Vanity Fair and Harper's Bazaar.

However, while Rob may be temporarily hogging the spotlight (okay, I'd let him have it all the time)(snicker)(Yes, I just admitted I'd let him have it all the time)(You know what I meant there, LOL)(Yes, I am talking to myself and to you in parenthesis)(Why?)(Because it is late/early and I am on the blog and hey, I like it)(I may regret this in the morning)

ANYWAY! Clearly there are a limited number of non-drooling over Rob braincells going on over here. My remaining function brain cells are drooling over Kellan Lutz:

All hail the hotness!

Remind me to put Nylon magazine on my list, even if the rest of the photoshoot does have Nikki Reed in it. Gah. Looking at Kellan can be hazardous to my ability to think.

And then there's Alex Meraz. Yes, it's a Wolf Pack member I'm all excited about here. Calendar's out, and mark it down: I am cheating on Team Vampire. But it's for a worthy cause! I'm supporting People magazine's nomination of a Twilight cast member as the sexy guy of the week:

Yum, right?

Hey, Hey Harper's Bazaar is Hot!

2009-11-04T02:30:00.002-05:00

Wow, I am learning about so many magazines courtesy of Twilight. I would never have bothered to even THINK of this magazine where it not for photos like this:

Dear Kristen Stewart: Once You're Dead, Rob's Mine

You know what I want for Christmas? Magazine subscriptions. Lots of them. I'm starting a list. It's my only defense.

Volturi Featurette: Cool, But I'm Still A Hater

2009-11-03T11:31:00.003-05:00

As a part of the New Moon publicity blitzkrieg, there's a new featurette about the making of the Volturi. I like it for stills shots like these:

The stills are gorgeous. But I still have no love for the Volturi. As far as I'm concerned, the vampire overlords are permanently personas non grata. Just for being bastards. Can't help it. I'm selectively Team Vampire, movie featurettes not withstanding.

The Shoes Ruin This Photo of Rob Pattinson In Japan

2009-11-03T11:25:00.003-05:00

So, I am totally fine with hopping on the publicity tour bandwagon as long as it's not straight Wolf Pack all the time. Thus, you know I was really looking forward to enjoying the photos of Rob Pattinson with New Moon director Chris Weitz in Japan.

Then, like a tractor beam on the Death Star, my eyes were drawn to the shoes. Can you spot the ones I'm talking about here?

Hint: These aren't men's shoes I'm obsessed with!

Ignoring a host of other things I'd love to comment about here with regards to the overall look, what the ever loving bejebus is on her feet?

New Fan Fic Chapter Is Up!

2009-11-03T11:11:00.004-05:00

Thanks to everyone who read the last installment of my fan fic, Distilling Down. I'm pleased to announce that the new chapter is up! I've started getting a few reviews and I love every single person who reads. Hard. You make my day.

Here's a quick recap, and then a teaser from this chapter. In the prologue and the first chapter, we've met Bella, who is hiding out from everyone chasing after her. Unfortunately, that includes Edward. What's going on in his world while she hides from him?

Chicago, Alice's POV:

Our pictures hung in a scattered array, showcasing our lives since we’d come to America. There were dozens of Jasper and I, from our courtship, our wedding, and our trips together. Dozens of happy moments were on display, but Edward had eyes for only one photo: Bella at the lakeshore. She had been notoriously camera shy as a human, so we’d never had many of her. Between the labs and houses that had been bombed and burned over the years, his personal collection had been winnowed down to just a few lingering snapshots. He’d lost the other when she’d stolen his jacket on her way out the door again two years ago, so now this one on our wall was all he had.

Well, that and his not-so-little obsession with her current whereabouts.

"Edward . . . " I said to him softly, putting one hand tentatively on his shoulder. "She’ll turn up when it’s time and not a minute before."

"How can she run from me? How can she hide?" His voice was pure agony, bottled, aged well, and decanted.

"Edward, you know she’s not herself right now." I left out the part about him chasing her around shooting at her as potential motivation for wanting to hide out. He killed himself enough over that as it was.

Read on for more!

Rob Pattinson Makes Me Need A Vanity Fair Subscription

2009-11-02T13:04:00.003-05:00

Seriously! I would subscribe to this, just for the December issue of Vanity Fair, which features photos of Rob Pattinson done by photographer Bruce Weber. The photos go with a feature profile by Evgenia Peretz that talks Twilight, Kristen Stewart, and fame . . . and being Robert Pattinson, of course.

I'd subscribe for a piece of the hotness

The photoshoot outtakes are in a beautiful slide show on the Vanity Fair website, but here are a few of my favorites for your viewing pleasure.

The untagged version of the cover shot, courtesy of ThinkingofRob:

Things I'm not kicking out of bed:

Exhibit A

Exhibit B

Books I need to check out:

Where was this when they were making Poughkeepsie banners?

Why yes, I would like to borrow that cigarette:

And finally, before I just post the whole damn Vanity Fair Photoshoot of Rob Pattinson:

Yes, I want to be that sweater:

Xavier Samuel as Riley Biers

2009-11-02T12:48:00.003-05:00

David Slade has another hot vampire hook up for today, in the form of Xavier Samuel in character as vampire Riley Biers. Apparently in addition to an expanded role, he's been gifted with a last name. Which is just fine. If one of these vampire types becomes the later father of my children, it's important for them to have a last name, you know?

The Complete Howling at New Moon

2009-11-02T12:41:00.003-05:00

For the Wolf Pack lovers out there . . . as long as we're talking Halloween specials, here's the complete recast of the MTV Howling at New Moon program.

Holy Hotness Batman! It's Kellan Lutz.

2009-11-02T12:29:00.003-05:00

Ask, and ye shall receive.

Here I was crabbing about the lack of all things vampire sexy in existence, and lo and behold . . . the vamp side of the house has stepped up to the plate.

Kellan Lutz as Batman

Have I mentioned how much I love this man? No? Well, I certainly have catapulted him to the top of my favorite people list again today! I spent my Halloween at a class reunion, but I am thinking a Vegas adventure with Kellan would have been just as awesome. Okay, much more awesome . . . I'm drooling just thinking about it, and I've definitely got the Batman theme song stuck in my head.

These Wolves Are Wearing Me Out

2009-10-30T01:59:00.004-04:00

I don't know about you, but I am totally exhausted by the presence of the Wolf Pack EVERYWHERE. The worst part is that I know they are just warming up for November, which is going to a publicity blitzkrieg the likes of which the Twidom has never seen.

Just waiting to invade a forest near you

I don't know if I'm up to it.

Taking it from the top, we have the core issue that I'm a Cullen girl at heart. I like vampires. You like vampires. It's good.

Enter the werewolves. Werewolves bad, okay? But werewolves hot. So hot. Oh my, shirtless wonders of the Wolf Pack, banned in Wales and other backwaters for your sweet fleshy goodness . . . wait. Bad! Wolf Pack bad. Bad! Vampires good.

Oh yes, vampires. Good . . . .

And yet, everywhere I look. . . . No vampire sexy goodness. Vampire sexy fail. All the sexy vampire stuff is already saved in my photobucket and fan fiction accounts.

In real life, vampire related interviews consist of Elizabeth Reaser claiming she doesn't get Esme and Peter Facinelli being all "AZ State Fair, yeah baby!" . . . in comparison, we've got Boo Boo Stewart doing wolf flips, Taylor Lautner romancing Taylor Swift, various other members of the Wolf Pack doing mall appearances and interviews. Everywhere. They're everywhere.

This symbol, everywhere I look.

Just when I think there might be an escape . . . no. Wolf Pack is at the mall, my friends. First, in reality:

And then in posters, cut outs, T-shirts, etc, etc, etc. It's making me crazy, tired, and scared.

They're all so young and made scary with computer shading. I don't like it. I want something cold, dead, and sparkling to cuddle up with to make me feel better.

How many more days till New Moon? I need to start drinking now . . . .

OMG, How did I miss Pattinson Panties?

2009-10-28T00:30:00.002-04:00

Catching up on a few things, and damn. You look away from the blogosphere for one freakin' second on the weekend, and you miss this:

Read all about it at Twitarded, which is also where I blatantly borrowed the above image from after I got done mopping up my drink. Wild laughter + Pattinson panties = wet. You must click through to see what is printed on the INSIDE of those undies!

Castle: The Vampire Diares

2009-10-27T21:59:00.004-04:00

In keeping with my I-love-everything-Vampire theme that usually kicks into high gear for the Halloween season AND my this-week-is-awesome PLUS the all-roads-lead-eventually-to-a-Twilight-tie, I bring you this week's episode of Castle, which is a vampire episode. Underworld references, Anita Blake references, Interview With A Vampire references, and loads of Bram Stoker references totally make it full of WIN. Oh, and there's werewolves, too.

Kellan Lutz Goes To The Dogs

2009-10-25T14:11:00.004-04:00

Okay ladies and gents, when Twilight hottie Kellan Lutz says the following, what is he talking about?

"Our connection was so strong that it was like fate bringing us together. I knew she was the one."

(letting fantasy hour run for a while here . . . .)

Those of you who guessed that it was HIS DOG are completely correct. The full quote is:

"She looked me in the eyes, bowed and slowly and softly licked my open hand. As I pet this beautiful dog I realized how soft her multi-colored coat was, and felt her desperation for a real home. Our connection was so strong that it was like fate bringing us together. I knew she was the one."

For trivia hounds (yeah, I went there) here are few more Kellan Lutz dog-related facts:

He found his dog at a shelter
There are dozens of super cute photos of him with dogs all over the fandom, but this is his latest cover shoot
His dog's name is Kola, and they've been together for three years

There's more article over at PopSugar, but that's the gist of it. Kellan's a dog man, and it's so damn cute I can't help but post about it. Who even knew Doggie Aficionado was a magazine?

Getting More Montepulciano In My Life

2009-10-25T14:03:00.002-04:00

How excited am I for the week ahead? My legitimate work includes a Twilight connection.

One of the things I do is write hotel descriptions. My contract agency has been on an Italy kick for a while (google Amalfi and just dream, peeps) and this week my list includes the one and only Montepulciano, setting for Volterra for the Twilight Saga.

It's gonna be a good week over here. Feeling it in my bones . . . .

Werewolves Are The New Black?

2009-10-23T12:47:00.002-04:00

I knew I created the tag of "Oddly, the WSJ" for a reason. The Wall Street Journal has now taken to commenting on the Twilight phenomenon. The most recent thing to draw attention are the new Wolf Pack focused spoilers, one of which was posted on the main WSJ site in their Speakeasy section. Evidently it got a lot of attention from their crowd, proving that even investment bankers and stock broker types have a hidden love affair with our beloved Twilight universe.

Watch for classic quotables, like "Werewolves are the new black" and "It's all about Taylor Lautner".

Finally! A Photographer Who Likes Nikki Reed

2009-10-22T03:00:00.004-04:00

After posting that Nikki Reed gets all the unflattering shots as Rosalie Hale, somebody took pity on her puffy vampire look and did her a photo shoot where she actually looks more like the beauty she's supposed to be portraying all the time.

The photographer who loved her was Hellin Kay. Not sure what the photos will be going for, but at least they make her look good!

There's a full set of five over at Nikki Is Eternal, one of her fan sites. I may not be her biggest fan, but credit where credit is due. Oh, and I so want Hellin Kay to do photos for me!

Ashley Greene Improves Men's Health

2009-10-22T02:33:00.005-04:00

I was clicking through the hordes of recent Twilight-related photo shoots and interviews, and this one really made me smile. Ashley Greene was featured in Men's Health magazine. Now, I'll be honest. I don't have much of an opinion about Men's Health. I kind of think of it as a light-read for the beefcake bunch. Typical covers look like this:

Beefcake Exhibit 1

Beefcake Exhibit 2

In the US they have shirts on the cover models. Hence, HELLO SINGAPORE!

For further viewing pleasure, Google Men's Health models. I was just looking for appropriate examples for the blog, and *poof* hours disappeared. Good stuff.

Anyway, so you Twilight and New Moon are the big time when they crack the muscle man magazines. Admittedly, you're getting Ashley Greene here, not Alice Cullen, and certainly not Rob. Still, it's a safe bet that you could bribe a significant other into seeing the movie using photos like this:

No need to mention that the wardrobe people dress her in fugly clothes the whole movie. Let the fantasy live on. It's a sure way to lure yourself into a date to the movie! ;-)

The Wolf Clip They've All Been Talking About

2009-10-20T16:03:00.001-04:00

Finally got my hands on a non-grainy copy of the Wolf Pack update.

And we are at t-30 days to seeing the rest of the drama . . . . huzzah!

Taylor Lautner Wins Spike Scream Award, Uses It As A Horn

2009-10-18T23:30:00.003-04:00

I will confess I did not watch the Spike Scream Awards Ceremony live. Those shows drive me nuts because they go on forever, and I knew I'd get the highlights online later in a fraction of the time.

Basically, Taylor Lautner cleaned up at the Spike Scream Awards, winning an award for Best Breakout Performance and getting to show off some cool Wolf Pack transformation footage (when I have more than screen caps and fuzzy videos of videos, I'll share). All very nice, very honorable, very good for the old reputation as a mature, up-and-coming actor.

Then, like a real 17 year old boy, he did this:

What are you trying to be, kid? A unicorn?

It reminded me why I never fully convert to Team Taylor . . . or Team Jacob. There's socially awkward, and then there's "Did you honestly just use an award as a horn? While still on national television? I'm going to not know you for a while."

Twilight Trading Cards? WTForks?

2009-10-18T00:46:00.003-04:00

Okay, I get that movie merchandising is where the money is. Really, I get it. Print up some life-size posters of a shirtless Robert Pattinson or a Wolf Pack that's been freshly oiled, and you can hear the CHA-CHING echoing across the Twidom. Heck, even the fully clothed cast is a gold mine, as witnessed by "The Sexy Stars of Twilight" and "The Sexy Stars of New Moon" magazine sales.

But trading cards? What sort of buffoon stocks up on trading cards for Twilight? Since when did Pokemon return? Has Magic the Gathering made a comeback I'm not away of?

Even more mind-boggling . . . how are these things sold out already? Oh wait, that's the Twilight trading cards that are STILL sold out (Thanks, Inkworks). The New Moon trading cards are supposedly available on Amazon.

Yeah, right.

Those are all gone, too. You have to get them from resellers (not that there's anything wrong with that, but . . .) It just kind of weirds me out that they sold that hard and that fast.

I like magazines, posters . . . maybe an action figure or a greeting card or two. But Twilight and New Moon trading cards? It makes me feel . . . 12 years. Maybe more like 8 years old. There's just something about them.

Not that they aren't bad shots, mind you. They're just itty bitty. You can squint at all 72 of them scanned over at Thinking of Rob.

Someone Out There Is Not A Nikki Reed Fan

2009-10-16T15:49:00.003-04:00

Well, here's the thing. I've suspected this for a while, but looking at the latest promotional still of Nikki Reed as Rosalie Hale in New Moon, I've come to the conclusion that someone out there is not a Nikki Reed fan and . . . it's the guy with the camera.

Seriously, she's not a hideously ugly individual in real life, even if she dates that douche Paris. So what is with these photos? Even though she is in all black, with the hair and the angle, the photographer still manages to make her look puffy and "big-boned". For the love, she's supposed to be a goddess of beauty, even if she is a bitch. This just makes her look like she's spent her entire vampire life eating Ben & Jerry's with a nasty case of the cramps.

A Vampire Cocktail For The Weekend

2009-10-16T15:31:00.003-04:00

Yay, the end of another long week! This weekend, why not mix yourself a special Twilight cocktail . . . the Vampire.

To make a Vampire cocktail, you need a highball glass with ice and:

2 1/2 ounces of tomato juice
1 ounce of orange juice (the recipe wants "fresh-squeezed" but Tropicana works, too)
1 tbsp lime juice
1 shot of tequila
1 tsp honey
1 tbsp chopped onion (the smaller the better)
3 thin pieces of hot pepper (red chili or jalepeno)
1 dash of Worcestershire sauce

Put all of the ingredients into a cocktail shaker with some ice and shake it vigorously. Add salt to taste, and then strain it into your highball glass.

It's kind of like a Bloody Mary, and the Vampire cocktail is also designed to be used as a hangover cure. Fun for a Halloween drink (my neighbors have orange lights up already) or hey, drink your vampire cocktail just because it's Friday and you can.

Huzzah for the weekend!

Wet Taylor Lautner vs. Wet Xavier Samuel

2009-10-14T19:10:00.002-04:00

Since wet, hot men are all the rage for Eclipse, I figured why not a little competition between two of the bigger contenders for the hearts of Team Edward? Thus, in a battle for sopping wet hotness to the brain death, it's wet Taylor Lautner vs. wet Xavier Samuel.

Contender 1: Taylor Lautner

In this corner, we have Taylor Lautner, who beefed up his physique to ridiculous levels for his role as the rejected werewolf Jacob Black. Frankly, if he keeps running around like this, the defection levels from Team Cullen are going to hit crisis levels. Points in his favor include:

Playing that all-American sport, football
Winning smile
Total willingness to show it all off there in his semi-see-through white T-shirt

Points against him:

Jailbait status until February 11, 2010.
A chaperone who resembles Jabba the Hut (sorry Big Daddy, but, well . . . sorry!)

Contender 2: Xavier Samuel

In this corner, we have Xavier Samuel, who has managed to convert a so-so career in Australia into an expanded Twilight experience. His moderate levels of resemblance to Mr. Cullen have been noted before along with remarks about the blogosphere's chatter on his sex-god status, but he has more to offer the Twination. Points in his favor include:

He's 25 (Xavier will be 26 December 10th) which makes him totally street legal in all 50 states
Shown here playing that all-Australian sport, surfing, he apparently made a whole movie, Newcastle, clad mainly in a wet suit. Win!
Hangs out chaperone-less and known to drink

Points against him:

Sings badly. Apparently uses said singing voice to annoy Rob by singing Miley Cyrus and Katie Perry at him. WTF? (Ashley Greene totally brought this up in an interview, btw)
Spends a lot of time hanging out with Bryce Dallas Howard and her husband/kid.
Australian, virtually unknown in the US

As I look over these, I'm not seeing a clear winner emerge. I mean, the whole underage thing works against Taylor, but then if any man croons Miley Cyrus at me I will probably kick him regardless of his hotness level. What are your thoughts?

Twilight @ Comixed.com

2009-10-11T21:03:00.001-04:00

Not everything I do online is Twilight focused, but it does seem like everything humor-focused leads back to Twilight.

Found this bit over at Comixed.com:

Snark and humor were my original entry points to the Twilight universe. . . can't help but share!

Admittedly Obsessed

Breaking Dawn Dominates Box Office

Breaking Dawn Fever Spreads To South America

Is Taylor Lautner's Abduction a Victim of Bad Acting or Bad Editing?

New Fan Fic: Just Show Me The Money, Money

Kristen Stewart Reminds Me Of January Jones In W Magazine

Fun New Twilight Poster - Now With Unicorns!

Shirtless Sunday: BooBoo Stewart

New Fan Fiction Adventure

Screw Captain America!

Twilight Halloween Song: Monster Mash

Easing Back Into The Twilight Zone

Shirtless Sunday: Kellan Lutz

Robert Pattinson And Kristen Stewart In World's Grainiest Kiss

If I Was A Werewolf, I'd Shred My Boyfriend

Twimpage Promotes Distilling Down!

Wait, Jackson Rathbone, Is That You?

A Taylor-iffic Surprise in My Taxi Cab

Twilight Supermarket Tabloid Shocker!

Even In Nebraska, Eclipse Sells Out

One Camera-less Trip To Forks Land *Facepalm*

Recap of The Short Second Life Of Bree Tanner

Read The Bree Tanner Book For Free

Robert Pattinson FINALLY Gets His Kiss At The 2010 MTV Movie Awards

One Year Since The Twilight Revolution

Chapters 10 & 11 Of Distilling Down Up

Chapter 9 of Distilling Down is Live!

Jodelle Ferland On Bree Tanner Book

The Book Brings Me Back To The Fold

Breaking Dawn = 2 Parts!

Jacob Black Tonner Doll = Fail

New Moon Hit By Razzie Nominations

Rob Pattinson's Hope For Haiti Appeal

Distilling Down Is Famous!

Twilight + Haiti = Good Things

Taylor Lautner, Tuxedo Style

Shirtless Sunday: Jackson Rathbone

Funny Reaction To Breaking Dawn

Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning Makeout? ICK!

Robert Pattinson's Lipstick Mystery Solved

Distilling Down Chapter 6 Is Up!

Ashley Greene + Skinsuits + Sobe = Man Fail

Kellan Lutz In February Cosmopolitan

Taylor Lautner Now Worth $7.5 Million

New Year, New Plans, New Fics

Merry Christmas!

Chapter 5 of Distilling Down is Up!

Kellan Lutz: Not So Pretty In Pink

Real Life Sucks Like The Paparazzi

I Joined Twitter For The Hair

Stuff The Critiques, Fan Boys

New Moon in 15 Minutes

Twi-Life on the DL

Distilling Down Has Banners!

Female Turkeys On Thanksgiving

Screw You, Interstate 40

New Moon Makes A Bazillion Dollars

New Moon = 10 x Hilarious

New Moon Day And I'm Under The Bus

New Moon Premier Outfits For The Laughs

New Moon Premier Outfits: Outfits In The Middle

New Moon Premier Outfits: Losers

New Moon Premier Outfits: Winners

Kellan Lutz + Lindsay Lohan = No Dice

Best.Monday.Ever.

Worst Shirtless Jacob Black Doll Ever Made

One Week To The Shirtless Wonder

Catherine Hardwicke Needs To STFU

Rob And Kristen Crash My Computer

Distilling Down Chapter 3: Angels Out Of Church

No Werewolf For Christian Serratos

Taylor Swift Has A Good Twi-Humor Thing Going

Millions Of Men Are About To Get Interested In Twilight

Thank You, Chris Pizzello

And The Twi-Sanity Officially Kicks It Up A Notch

Twilight Moms Scare Taylor Lautner

Dacre Stoker Publishes Dracula Sequel

A Sexy Break From The Non-Stop Rob Hotness

Hey, Hey Harper's Bazaar is Hot!

Volturi Featurette: Cool, But I'm Still A Hater

One Camera-less Trip To Forks Land Facepalm